How to Become Immune to Others’ Judgments

Many of us spend a good part of our lives conditioned by what others think, feeling as though we’re constantly being watched. Living like this inevitably traps us in relationships marked by suffering, insecurity and endless conflict.

But why are we so vulnerable to outside judgement? It happens mainly because (consciously or not) we’re deeply attached to an ideal self-image. We like to think of ourselves as good, kind, honest, smart or competent. Whenever someone questions that ideal image, we feel pain, anxiety or anger, because the picture we want to show the world (and ourselves) seems threatened.

We usually react to this threat in two ways: one part of us becomes sad and depressed, feeling wounded and inadequate, while another part fires back with arrogance and anger, defending itself with pride. Yet both responses are mechanical, automatic and profoundly dysfunctional, keeping us from living fully and authentically.

The key to lightening this burden isn’t changing other people or desperately trying to make them see things differently. The real solution is to break the inner cycle of judgement we keep feeding. When we stop judging ourselves (and stop judging others) something deeply liberating happens. We realise that everyone sees life through their own lens, and that this diversity is natural, inevitable and often full of growth opportunities.

Taking responsibility for our feelings and reactions is crucial. If we suffer over others’ opinions, it’s because we haven’t protected our most authentic, vulnerable side—we’ve left it alone in front of external criticism. Recognising this means starting to care for that fragile part, giving it the attention and love it needs.

Real change comes when the ego reconnects with the soul-our deepest, most authentic essence. When this bond forms, the ideal image we’ve built loses all importance. A healthy ego stops searching for outside validation and focuses on reality, on the truth of the present moment, rather than on appearance and approval.

When a judgement arrives, we see it for what it is: just an opinion, a subjective perception that doesn’t necessarily reflect who we truly are. If there’s truth in it, we can accept it calmly, learn from it and move on. There’s no need to fight, defend or suffer.

In this balanced state, we’re no longer split between the pain of the depressed side and the anger of the narcissistic side. We become whole, steady and genuine. We don’t react automatically to judgements; we respond consciously and maturely, always safeguarding our inner well-being.

Reconnecting with ourselves, then, means giving far less importance to external judgement. It means reclaiming emotional and mental freedom, finally living a life that’s more authentic, serene and fulfilling.